Friday, September 11, 2009

My Love's The Only Promise That Remains

So, I love this song and thought I would share the lyrics. I used to think it was just a pretty song but after I listened to the words... I realized it wasn't about a romantic love... it seems to me it's about God's Love...


When the ground beneath you starts a-shakin', shakin’
And you forget the place we came from, came from
When you're lost and lookin' for a way home
Your way home to me
I'll come out and find you

When the world around you starts a-movin', movin’
And you should wonder if I still love you, love you
If you feel the darkness comin', risin' inside
I'll make a light to guide you back home

And after all the sky has fallen down
And after all the water's washed away
My love's the only promise that remains

When your doubts have got you thinkin', thinkin'
Nothing's ever really sacred, sacred
And you're afraid you might believe it
Believe in me
And I'll give you a reason

Cuz the world around us keeps on movin', movin’
And there's no doubt that I still love you, love you
So when you feel the darkness comin', risin' inside
I'll make a light to guide you back home

And after all the sky has fallen down
And after all the water's washed away
My love's the only promise that remains
My love's the only promise that remains
My love's the only promise that remains

And after all the sky is fallen down
After all the sky is fallen down
And after all the water's washed away
After all the water's washed away
My love's the only promise that remains
Remains

I thought of you and where you'd gone... and the World Spins Madly On

So... Today is the anniversary of all that happened on 9/11. The knowledge that it was eight years ago seems almost surreal. I cannot believe that my memories of events are no longer thrown in sharp relief but stand out like bright lights through a mist... the edges of horror softened by time.

I was lucky. I did not lose anyone that I knew on a personal level. I did however lose something very dear to me - my belief that the world was a safe place. I mean, I knew that bad things happen. There are drive by shootings and crazies out there… but those were people I didn’t know in places too far from my backyard for me to feel threatened.

But listening to the news that day as I sat at work – the disbelief – thinking it was some kind of joke… only to realize it was a waking nightmare.

In my nightmare I remember not being able to breathe. I remember people running around trying to get the television in the office to pick up a regular channel so we could watch the news and only getting snow. I remember picking up the phones and getting only busy signals. I remember panic when I realized my half brother was in the air force but since I had no idea where he was stationed I didn’t know if he was okay. I remember going to my boss and telling him I needed to go home, that I couldn’t concentrate on actual work because I couldn’t seem to stop crying.

I remember leaving work and going to my friend’s home because I needed to be somewhere I felt safe. I remember finding out that everyone I knew was okay. I remember holding and being held by Brittany and Amy while we watched news footage of people throwing themselves from buildings. I remember silence and comfort and sadness all wrapped together.

I remember tying ribbons to my car antenna to show support and American pride. I remember volunteering at the red cross to make phone calls for blood donation and the overwhelming responses of people doing their part to help. I remember a unified nation standing together showing that we cannot be brought down like our buildings –we are more than just brick and mortar – we are the human spirit and we will continue to shine.

I will never forget where I was that day and I hope I will always remember to let my spirit shine.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

This Isn't What I Ordered

So, I'm taking the title for today's blog from a sermon by D.R. Carlson that I find particularly poignant and meaningful for me. In the sermon he talks about prayer. Lots of times we expect prayer to work like a drive through… place our order and drive around to pick it up at the second window. Now once we get to that pick up window, we look inside the bag to make sure everything is as it should be. Most of the time, it’s exactly what we have asked for… but sometimes it’s not right.

I worked at a fast food place for nearly four years. There were a lot of wrong orders, and there were as many reasons for the order to be wrong as there were fries in the fry bin. The order taker pressed the wrong button, the kitchen made the wrong special order, the right food went into the wrong bag or even the customer didn’t ask for what they really wanted… but no matter what went wrong or who’s “fault” it was, there was always a reaction from the customer.

Sometimes they would calmly tell you that this was NOT what they had ordered and then ask to have it corrected. Sometimes they would talk down to you like you were simple for not being able to get their “simple” request, even if the “fault” was not yours. More often than not, there was anger. Which seems so silly when you’re talking about a burger with no ketchup, but really… it was about what they were expecting and their disappointment in not getting what they wanted.

Which makes me think of prayer in a new way. Is God my Drive Thru Server? Do I have a right to get snippy with him when instead of a cheeseburger he gives me a salad? If I were dealing with a person face to face I would probably say “HEY! This isn’t what I ordered!” And if they said, “Lady, you could use the salad!” I might get angry at the slight. But what about with God? What about when I get to the window and all I get is an empty bag? What about when God just says “No”?

How many times in my life have I prayed for something that looked good but would have been so bad for me? How many times has God given me something else instead? When He says “No” to what I want, at that moment I don’t understand why. I get angry and upset and feel slighted… but then later, when I look back and see that the “No” led to something wonderful that I wouldn’t have had if I had gotten a “Yes” the first time around, I get it. At least, I get it until the next empty bag.

So here I sit with another empty bag, another unanswered prayer. But this time… I’m not angry. I am sad of course, and disappointed, because I wanted something that I didn’t get – I’m only human. This time though, I’m trying to focus on the fact that my bag is empty because God has something for me that won’t fit in the bag that I’ve given Him. He has something greater than what I’ve asked for just waiting for me. I just have to be patient.