Waiter/Server

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the people who met your needs in an airplane were called Stewardesses. Men of course didn’t want to be known as Male Stewardesses and the term Steward was not bandied about often. The march of time brought feminism and equality to the forefront of many of our minds. Perhaps that is why we now must call everyone a Flight Attendant when asking for our bag of *free* peanuts…

Along these same lines the people who brought you food in a restaurant used to be called Waiters or Waitresses. They were the fine members of the team called a “wait staff”. The dictionary definition(s) for Waiter is –

1. A person, who waits on tables, as in a restaurant.
2. A tray for carrying dishes, a tea service, etc.
3. A person who waits or awaits

Now, (at least in this area) calling someone a waiter is somehow considered demeaning. I have been rebuked on several occasions by asking for the Waiter and told in no uncertain terms that it is actually the Server I am looking for. The dictionary definition(s) for Server is –

1. A person who serves.
2. Something that serves or is used in serving.
3. A broad fork, spoon or spatula for dishing out and serving individual portions of food.
4. An attendant on the priest at Mass, who arranges the altar, makes responses, etc.
5. (in sports) the player who puts the ball in play.
6. A computer that makes services, as access to data files, programs, available to workstations on a network.

I admit I am unfamiliar with the exact reasons for changing the job title from Waiter to Server. The most plausible reason I can imagine is simply to eliminate the description of the gender of the party doing the work. Perhaps it is so that everyone will feel fairly treated – same job, same title… I really don’t know. What I do know is that the words Waiter/Server imply two very different actions to me.

Waiting seems like such an idle thing - a passive action. We often wait for things to happen – the day to begin, the workday to end, the weather to change. Usually it seems like we have no control over waiting, especially if we are waiting for something to happen so that we can then move ahead. Looking at it that way – I can understand not wanting that to be my job description. “What do I do all day? Well, I wait!” What do you have to show at the end of your waiting day if what you waited for didn’t happen?

Conversely, when we serve it seems like we are actively doing something. We could be self-serving - it is often necessary to fulfill our own needs. But – we can also be selflessly serving by filling another’s need. Whoever we serve, we are giving and working and accomplishing a task! That sounds like a fulfilling and rewarding job, doesn’t it? I served someone today. I did something in the service of someone other than myself.

Looking at it this way, it almost seems like they really are two totally different jobs. But are they? When you serve someone else you still have to wait. You have wait for them to make a decision. You have to wait for them to tell you what they want. You might even have to wait for circumstances to come together to help fulfill their need. There is still waiting involved in serving.

But when you wait do you always serve? What about when you wait for something that isn’t for someone else but for you? How do you serve then? Who do you serve then?

I struggle with this so much. It is so easy for me to focus on what it is I am waiting for to the exclusion of everything else. Like a horse with blinders on all I can see is my desire in the distance. I don’t think about the struggles of those around me who have needs of their own – needs I could be serving while I wait for my own to be met. I don’t even think about how I could serve the One I’m waiting for.

Following are the lyrics to a song called “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller that expresses so well how I long to be:

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord